What happened when that preacher’s wife wore jeans to church on Easter?

Yeah, I heard of a few goofy comments about not honoring the Lord on Easter… I told you already what I think about that. See my recent post if you missed it.

I also realized that those Easter jeans of mine were tighter than usual. What I wear to church on Sunday is not at all about honoring my Lord. BUT what I put into this temple that he blessed me with… that’s another story. How I’ve been mistreating my body is getting awful close to dishonoring the Lord. Gulp – that’s uncomfortable, isn’t it?

So I began to immerse myself in education about the body and food. I’ve watched two documentaries now (Food, Inc. and Forks Over Knives) and I recommend them both. My 7 and 10 year olds watched Forks Over Knives with me. That night when I tucked them into bed, they both said to me (separately) that they believed we needed to change out diet to include more plant based foods. I began to read The Daniel Plan and have once again begun to log my daily food intake and exercise on http://www.myfitnesspal.com regularly.

I’m discovering some new yummy tricks:

This is spinach salad.  That’s right, I said SALAD!  It’s lots of spinach, a few frozen strawberries, a frozen kiwi, frozen blackberries, 1/2 a frozen peach and apple juice.   The kids ate it like it was sherbert!   I call it “Spinach Salad Ice Cream”  🙂

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This is nothing but frozen bananas.  Nothing added – just froze bananas when they were ripe (peeled and cut into 3-4 pieces each).  Put them in the blender as we were getting ready to eat lunch to let them defrost a bit.  When we were done with lunch, I turned on the blender and this is what we got!  Frozen bananas the consistency of soft serve ice cream!

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I have a long way to go.  I weighed in at 207 pounds last Monday.  Yes, you just read that.  I told you my actual weight.  I’m not proud, it makes me sick to share it, actually.  But if I’m open and honest, it helps hold me accountable and maybe will help someone else.  I weighed in today at 202.2.  I’ve lost 4.8 pounds this week.  That’s a start.  My goal weight is 145.  I did it once before.  I got derailed by 6 months and 5 rounds of steroids (that was my initial excuse) and stayed off course for 2 years.  I’m back on the wagon, again.  Here we go!  Prayers appreciated.  Encouragement essential.  Friends needed.

 

By the way…. I’m doing this without surgery, pills, drink mixes, powders, milkshakes, etc.  I’m not bashing anybody who does!  My goal is to show that anyone can do this with the Lord’s help.  You can join myfitnesspal and see what I eat every single day and how much exercise I’m doing.  I’m also doing devotions every morning.  If I can do this, anyone can do this.

 

 

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Makes me want to puke…

I look at myself in the mirror squeezing into very uncomfortable clothes again.  Makes me want to puke…

I pull out the 1 pair of size 20 capri’s that I kept to show where I started my weight loss journey from.  Only to pull them on and struggle to button them.  Makes me want to puke….

I sit down in front of the television at night with a bowl of ice cream.  Just because I “need” to treat myself.  Makes me want to puke…. but I still eat it.

I hate the numbers I see on the scale.  I hate telling YOU how I’ve gained it all back.  Makes me wanna….. well,

PUKE

Break the stupid mirror

Pull my hair out

SCREAM

Hide in humiliation

How did I get back here?  I sit here with tears streaming down my face as I cry out to God, “Lord, why??  Why did you let me get back in this shape again?”  Only to hear Him whispering “Why did you choose this path, Tammy?”  I was there, so close to my goal.  I blogged all about it and you all listened.  You all offered your encouragement (which I treasure to this day).  But why weren’t you there to rip that midnight snack out of my hands??  Because I locked you out.  I stopped talking about it, I stopped blogging, I stopped doing anything about it.  It was easier to be quiet about it as the pounds piled back on in humiliation.  I stopped hearing “Wow!  You look great!  How much weight have you lost?” and started imagining your thought “Wow, she’s put all that weight back on.”

So here I am again.  At another starting line.  At another crossroads.  I walked in a Diabetes challenge here in our county yesterday and it felt good.  I walked for an hour.  I sweated.  I got uncomfortable.  It felt amazing!  I had energy all day yesterday and it’s addicting.  I need to take steps, drastic ones, to get off my rear end and start truly taking care of this glorious body God gave me.  I’m not talking about “stupid-drastic.”  I’m not crash dieting, bingeing or going on a “tongue patch” diet or a “freeze your fat” diet – (those seriously exist)…  I’m talking about eating right and exercising.

So I’m signing up for a 5K.  I don’t know where but I know it needs to be soon.  I’m using the Diabetes walk yesterday as my first day of training.  Pray for me.  Pray for my family.  I plan to blog each week – it makes me accountable.  Don’t let me go silent again.  My commitment to you is that by next Sunday (hope to make that my regular blogging day) I will have narrowed down some 5K’s and be ready to sign up for one.  I also plan to walk every day so if any of you are in New Castle and want to join me, let me know!  Can’t walk with me but you want to share in this journey?  Subscribe to this blog.  I hope it helps encourage somebody, somewhere along the way.  The Lord is walking me through this journey for a reason.

Ready….

Set…..

Go!