That Fat Girl

Tonight as I was preparing to play softball with our church softball team, I began to have flashbacks of that fat girl in elementary and middle schools that was always picked last.  And when I got forced onto someone’s team because I was the last person in line, I played pitifully.  Those flashbacks made me apprehensive about playing.  All the insecurities of that fat girl came flooding back.

I found out tonight that it’s not enough to change your body and lifestyle but you’ve got to change your mindset.  I was dressed in the most athletic thing I could find (a pair of 1 size too big denim capris and a red tank top) standing in my living room behind my kids on the couch watching Electric Company.  The characters on the screen were singing about taking chances, take a step forward and get in the game even if you are scared.  Wow – isn’t it cool how God can speak to us in any number of mediums?  As I stood there, I felt my confidence building.  Then my daughter, suddenly realizing I’m in the room, turns and says to me, “Mommy, you look absolutely magnificent losing so much weight!”  She came over and hugged me and told me I used to be so big and now I’m so little.  Thank you God for that little messenger giving me your message of encouragement.

Many of you have asked why I haven’t blogged the past 2 weeks.  It’s not that I’ve lost motivation or gained any weight.  We were out of town last week at the North American Christian Convention where I served as the Student Convention Photographer and had no time to write.  This week, I suffered a bout of the 24 hour flu.  And let me tell you, it was awful.  I went outside on a day when the heat index was 115 degrees in my sweat suit with my bathrobe on to warm up.  So the answer is – No, I’ve not gained any weight.  I’m still motivated, still working out and discovering great ways to change my diet to healthier choices.  I’m reading a great book by Tosca Reno that I highly suggest.  It’s a practical guide to eating clean and includes foods we actually will eat.

I weighed in this week at 160.0 – a loss of 2.4 more pounds.  That’s a total of 44.4 pounds lost since January 18, 2011.  🙂  I’m 10 pounds from my first goal of 150.  It’s amazing the new person I am becoming.  I’m more confident, more active, have tons more energy and a much more positive outlook on life.  Can’t wait to see what Goes does next!

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It must be aliens….

Wow, I honestly cannot believe I’m doing this.  I have been that “fat girl” all my life.  I was the last one picked to play sports in my PE class and I never played any team sports.  And all of a sudden I have a deisre to participate in a 5K on July 16th at the Bluegrass State Games!  Isn’t that crazy?  Last week as I was training to walk in that 5K, I had a desire to pick up some speed and jog a little.  It HAD to be aliens taking over my body because I literally despise running.

As most of you know, I’m a photographer and I photographed Louisville Bible College’s senior banquet and graduation this weekend.  On Friday night at the banquet, they had a fantastic seafood buffet and finished it up with a piece of chocolate meringue pie.  I had been “saving” my caloires all day so I could enjoy this meal guilt free and it was fabulous.  When I got to that pie, my mouth was watering.  It was actually frozen so I defrosted each bite in my mouth letting it slowly melt and savoring each morsel.  I have no idea what any of the speakers were saying or what was going on in that room because I was completely enjoying that piece of pie.  Now, here’s where the alien thing must have happened…. the next thing I know, I’m full and I push the last 2-3 bites of that fabulous frozen chocolate pie away from me!!  It’s chocolate pie for goodness sake!!  What in the world came over me???  Had to be aliens, just had to be….. have YOU ever seen any fat aliens??

Here are a few more instances that I am sure proves aliens are taking over my body:

I got up off the floor without getting on all fours and pushing myself up inches at a time…

I wore a pair of size 16’s and they’re about to fall off of me (I started in size 20/22)….

I went to the grocery store and bought healthy stuff…

I mowed our yard last week (hubby’s back is hurting) in 90 degree heat and I didn’t die…

I did a yoga session and could actually do most of the poses…

I played soccer with my children in the yard and actually ran faster than they did…

I ate asparagus and liked it….

I ate Doritos (my favorites) and they made me sick to my stomach…

See?  How else could you explain all this craziness???  Has to be aliens…. has to be…

I weighed in at 173.0 this week, down 1.0 from last week and a total of 31.4 pounds lost since I began this journey January 18, 2011.  Come on, join me in this journey and see if the aliens will take over your body, too!  😉  Click “Yep, I’m in!  Sign me up!” in the upper right hand side of this blog to begin the transformation!  Start watching for the space ships….  hehe…..

Day 3 – still sober

I’m amazed at how God is faithful.  I know He is and has always been – I tend to be forgetful.  I’ve been making wise food choices and sticking to my commitment to working out every day for an entire 48 hours, now.  I know it sounds silly but I’m very proud of myself.  You’ve got to remember, for me, this is like a drunk trying to stay sober.  I eat when I get emotional or when I’m under stress.  Over the past 48 hours, my kids have run fevers of over 104 and I’ve been cleaning up vomit.  I had the potential to really fall off the wagon.  I’m not setting any longterm goals, I’m making it through THIS day first.  I was frustrated yesterday because I usually try to have a quiet time in the mornings and because my children were sick, I was unable to do so.  My husband came home on his lunch hour so I could run & get some groceries before  the snow storm hit and when I turned on the radio, I heard the song “Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns.  Try reading through these lyrics with MY eyes – the eyes of someone without the strength (on my own) to lose this weight…

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I’m in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he’s holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
“Boy, you’ll never win,
You you’ll never win

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says “do not be afraid!”
and the Voice of truth says “this is for My glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand

But the giant’s calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
“Boy you’ll never win,
you’ll never win.”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says “do not be afraid!”
and the Voice of truth says “this is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don’t seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says “do not be afraid!”
And the Voice of truth says “this is for my glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
‘Cause Jesus you are the Voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are the Voice of truth

So, I’m not listening to myself because myself tells me I’ve done this a thousand times before and it never works.   I choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth that tells me I’m doing this for His glory.  I will not be afriad.  I covet your prayers.

PART 2: 

Snow Storm’s a Comin’

Whenever I hear the words “snow storm” I go into a nesting mode… I feel like I should have my home ready for anything that might happen.  It should be clean, organized, all the laundry done, the dishes done, the fridge full of easy to prepare foods – you never know, right?  What if it snows 3 feet and every neighbor in the area loses their electricity except us?  I HAVE to be able to feed and sleep all of them here, right?  I know it’s a little insane… 🙂  Seriously though, you never know what the weather holds so I’ve been organizing and cleaning.  This morning, I watched this news story and realized how very unorganized I am (and I only have 2 kids).

http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/the-bateses-and-their-18-children-23906649